Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

Yes, I know this is my 3rd post today, but these were too funny not to share.

Subject: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetable while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Missus about lifting the toilet seat by usingthe sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use atimer.

5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you willbe afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn'tmove and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the ducttape.