Confessions

As I told you before, we opened up our new church last Sunday. We were so excited and the new building is absolutely stunning. It was so much more than we ever expected, and I am so proud to say that it is my church! I hope that last statement doesn't sound vain or materialistic because it isn't meant that way. If you know our church, you know we started in a small suite next to a popular drugstore in town. Once we outgrew that building, which didn't take long, we moved to a building that before renovations, was an athletic club. We come from humble beginnings, so to have such a beautiful new building is just wonderful, and a blessing from God.

I have really been feeling the conviction of the Lord lately. Since I graduated, Hal and I haven't been the best about going to church like we should. Although I often have to work on Saturday or Sunday nights, I still don't feel like that is a valid excuse for not going to church. We are lucky because our church offers an early service that we go to usually. Here recently we would just sleep in instead of going to church, or get up too late to make it to the early service. Our second service, in the old building, was always so crowded, so we would use that as our excuse not to go at all. Now that we have a new, much larger building, we really have no excuses anymore.

Last Sunday during the invitation at church, our pastor asked if any of us just felt like we were straying away from God and felt uncomfortable by this. Everyone's eyes were closed so I don't know if anyone else answered, but I raised my hand to answer yes, I felt as though I had let myself stray away from the Lord.

Jesus has always remained first in my life. I just know that recently I haven't been the Christian that I should be. I went through a period where I stopped growing in Christ. I didn't pray as much as I should have, and I feel like I took things for granted. When I think about how much God has done for me, I am ashamed to think that I haven't been trying hard enough for him.

We talked about John 3:16 in church last Sunday, and how God is such a giving God. Just hearing the sermon on this verse that we all know so well, reminded me of how I need to receive the blessings from God and return those blessings back to Him. I need to do a better job of not only giving my tithes and offerings, but also giving my whole self. I want to use my talents as He has instructed to glorify Him, and I want to use my opportunity as a nurse to share Christ with others. I need improvement in all of these areas. I know that I will never be perfect and that I will always fall short. As humans, this is something we will all struggle with, but I am committed to living my life for Jesus and for following his will for my life.

Hal and I are so blessed, more so than we will ever deserve. If it weren't for our faith in Jesus, we wouldn't have made it through the sacrifice of getting through nursing school. I am ashamed that I allowed myself to stop growing, especially after the blessings that God has bestowed on us since we have been married.

Thankfully, the Lord has already forgiven me. It is my hearts desire to serve the Lord to my fullest potential, and to never stop growing in him. It is also my desire that people see the Lord in me, in my attitude, in the way I treat my patients, and in the way I lead my life in general.

I hope that through this blog, I can document my growth and look back one day at how far I have come.